Perspectives
Blog
I have struggled with needing help and I still do, where it’s the case, especially in realizing I'm not alone.
Often I have felt alone in it all.
I’ve always wondered: how do I un-alone myself?
Erupting sensations exist
in the spaces between you and me.
There’s an impulse to move toward the yearning
The idea of your touch seems so far away
and yet you're here,
eyes gazing,
your fingers about to touch me.
So slow is time
in this
moment …
On Saturday night, under the stars, to the magnificent, melodic and sensual sounds of Future Primitive, I was danced. By a stranger, or was he...?
When a man or woman tracks my womanly ways, by leaning in
and naming his/her desire to better understand, slow down,
and track how or why I'm moving in the directions I am
When he/she wishes to better understand me for the reactions and decisions I'm making by welcoming these parts of me with his/her curiosity…
Revealing anything about myself which I deem as big or a lot would often have me feel the fear of causing loss or creating waves… and so I would mitigate my reveals, and my truth, with strategies in order to stay safe.
Then I learned, when I don’t own and reveal what’s happening, but instead strategize or, as I like to call this, posture over the top of my truth …
Regardless of the person, situation and experience…
Can you choose to hold it in positive regard and care?
With the same amount of positive regard and care you hold for yourself or an innocent child?
Balanced positive regard and care between you and other may allow you to defuse reactions such as:
Taking things personally - Defensiveness - Protectiveness - Shut down - Shame - and more.
Fear exists within me.
A lot!
And I’ve come to realize for myself, and I hope you’ll join me here:
Fear is not my enemy, it is my relationship to it.
Why I love impermanence as a guiding purpose for relationship
It creates more presence.
Brings more realness.
Every touch, word spoken, action and reaction matters more.
There's a preciousness which invites me to lean in and show up.
I'm struck by the preciousness of intimate connection.
Blown away by the idea that we are gifting each other attention and interest.
In awe of the 'we' space and how profound of a teacher it truly is.
When I grew a clue about my desires, I quickly realized how hidden they were. While I could engage some, e.g. the desire to travel, call a friend, ask for a hug, or sexual desires, there were a vast many I was scared to reveal.
When I finally learned the length and depth of my desires (which continue to unfold), I felt scared and confused as to why my desires mattered.
In relationship, if you're relying on the other to feel good, then you're off to a bad start.
Don't make the world or another responsible. Rather, fall in love with your own sense of self responsibility!